Fix Me
by broweiss27
Summary: Amya once had a best friend named Cho Gonou. What happens when they go their own way? Will they meet again?


**Hey! This is just a short one-shot about Hakkai and an OC of mine. **

I missed him. I missed the green-eyed boy that used to always be there for me. I missed him. But he left me. I don't _get it. _We grew up at the orphanage together.

_The small boy looked sad. He had green eyes, but they seemed dull. His dark brown hair was messed up, too. This is what the small grey-eyed girl observed when she entered the room. The caretaker had told her to get settled in, and then she was bored. So she went to explore._

_ That was when she had come across him. The boy looked so sad, and I didn't like seeing people sad. Even if he was a little older than me, I was determined to cheer him up. I bounced up to him with a smile on my face. "Hi! I'm Amya!"_

_ The boy looked at me slowly, and up close I could see I was wrong. His eyes were sad, but they were far from dull. They were bright He stared at me for a minute, before saying quietly, "Hello". I looked at him for a second, and decided that he needed prompting. _

_ "Your name?" He looked at me, seeming annoyed by my insistence. _

_He sighed and said curtly, "Cho Gonou"_

And that was the first day. I kept pestering him after that. Soon he was comfortable around me. But later, when we were older, about 16, he was around less. After a while, I left the orphanage. By then, I was 17, and he was never there. I saw him once a week, if that. And he'd pass me with a "hi." Nothing else.

My best friend was gone. Practically a stranger. And that scared me, a lot. I had started traveling. Just to keep my mind off of him. It was not long until I heard of him again.

My feet made dirt stir up from the floor of the bar. I made my way past the drunken men, and sat down at a table. Soon enough a barmaid came over to me. "What would you like miss?" She asked me.

"Ah, can I have some sake?" I had always been fond of sake. Sometimes Gonou and I would sneak onto the roof of the orphanage to drink. He never got drunk, and I only slightly. When I got drunk, I got nicer, and more…indiscrete. I would lean against him more heavily, and cuddle. Not my proudest moments. But I had to consume insane amounts of alcohol to get even slightly drunk, so it rarely happened.

I was now 19. My face had matured, dark blue eyes getting sharper, cheeks less rounded, and brown hair extremely darker. I had 'filled out' as well. I had curves as well as not big but not small… *cough* *cough* well, you know. "Here you go miss." The barmaid looked at me expectantly, and I paid her. S grinned, satisfied with my tip, and left.

As I passed a table of drunken men, I heard something. A name. I hadn't heard it in a while. "Did you hear, some guy went on a murdering rampage!" one of them shouted. "He murdered a whole clan by himself." The guy slobbered.

"What's that?" I asked curiously. Some of his friends waved me off, saying 'this isn't for girls.' That pissed me off. I hated sexist people. But I could play their drunken state to my advantage. "Oh, come on," I purred, leaning down and showing cleavage. "It's not like anyone will listen to me." From what I could see, they weren't supposed to know this. Meaning, no one else had this information.

I could see them crack, and the leader started his rant again. "Yeah, so this guy probably thinks he's so tough. I'd like to see Cho Gonou fighting me. I wouldn't lose." My heart stopped for a second.

"He changed his name," one said. "Something about forgetting his entire past and starting over." He laughed. "How stupid can one guy get? Cho Hakkai." He laughed again. My blood ran cold, and I ran out of the bar, tears stinging my eyes. So he wanted to forget me, huh? Fine then. Two can play that game. Of course, I never did anything different.

I never forgot him.

I stepped into the inn. Another new town, another new day. I was now 23. Gon- no _Hakkai, _would be 24. Walking up to the counter, I asked for a room. "Oh, we only have two-bed rooms left." The lady at the counter frowned. "Would you like one of those?"

Not really. "Sure, that'll work." So I took my key and went up to my room. As soon as I opened the door, my mouth dropped open. It. Was. Huge. I had to stop from squealing. It was obviously a couples sweet, with two large beds. I was standing on polished dark hardwood flooring, and the beds were decorated with different shades of red. I slowly shut the door behind me with my foot.

And then I ran off to explore. The bathroom was also huge. It had a bath and shower, separated, and ohhhh… It was amazing. I hadn't had this luxury before, and I fully intended use it. This included: Hour long baths, long naps, robes. Mmm hmm.

I was very happy with my decision to get this room. When I realized that it was time to eat, I headed down the restaurant that was attached to the inn. On my way there I saw a piano, and filed it away in my mind. I loved piano, and singing.

Then I caught a glimpse of something that stopped my heart for a second. There was a table with four men sitting there. A teenager, a redhead, a monk, and…him. He was here. I quickly ducked out of his sight.

The food was delicious. I had had a Mushroom and Swiss burger for dinner. On my way back to the room, I heard the frantic voice of the desk lady. "They're all sick! They won't come in! What're we going to _do?_ I promised live entertainment tonight!" I grinned. Perfect.

"I can sing." The desk lady turned to me, eyes suspicious.

"I can't pay you. Can you even sing?"I narrowed my eyes at her.

"You don't need to pay me. And I can sing. Promise." I was up on stage as soon as I got her approval. Hakkai's eyes were immediately drawn to me, and the widened in shock. I smirked.

"Hey guys! I'll be singing for you tonight." I ran through multiple songs before coming to my last, and favorite, one.

_I am standing on the edge of returning or just running away  
I am letting myself look the other way  
And the hardest part in all of this is I don't think I know my way back home  
Is it worth the journey or do I let my heart settle here_

How cold have I become  
I didn't want to  
Lose you by what I'd done  
Caught in the grey

I don't wanna look you in the eyes, you might call my away  
I don't wanna give you the chance to make me stay  
And the hardest part in all of this is  
I know my way back, I don't want to go  
And let you see all that has become of me

I should've know, I should've known  
I didn't have a chance

How cold have I become  
I didn't want to  
Lose you by what I'd done  
Caught in the grey  
It burns for a moment but  
But then it numbs you  
Takes you and leaves you just  
Caught in the grey

In your deepest pain  
In your weakest hour  
In you darkest night  
You are lovely

In your deepest pain  
In your weakest hour  
In you darkest night  
You are lovely

How cold have I become  
I didn't want to  
Lose you by what I'd done  
Caught in the grey  
It burns for a moment but  
But then it numbs you  
Takes you and leaves you just  
Caught in the grey

In your deepest pain  
In your weakest hour  
In you darkest night  
You are lovely

In your deepest pain  
In your weakest hour  
In you darkest night  
You are lovely

I am standing on the edge of returning or just running away…

I waved while stepping off of the stage.

I couldn't help it. I snuck downstairs, and stood by the beautiful grand piano. It was a deep black, and practically begging to be played. I began with soft notes, and started singing. I was aware of a presence behind me, but I didn't care.

_Another day, another waste of my heart__  
It only beats when it wants to__  
Another step, and I've learned to hold my breath__  
Still scared to want you___

I'll be the mess, you be the medicine_  
I'll be the mess, you play the medicine___

Why don't you fix me?_  
I can't help myself__  
Why don't you fix me?__  
You know I'm fading still___

I have tried to be better inside_  
We both know how it kills__  
I've tried to heal myself so many times,__  
But we both know that I'm still ill___

I'll be the mess, you be the medicine_  
I'll be the mess, you play the medicine___

Why don't you fix me?_  
I can't help myself__  
Why don't you fix me?__  
You know I'm fading still__  
[x2]___

And you know how I try, fight to survive_  
My hands are bloody from holding myself too tight__  
You know how it hurts__  
You know what the pain will be worth___

Every scar one day will heal_  
Every tear one day will dry__  
[x4]___

Why don't you fix me?_  
I can't help myself__  
Why don't you fix me?__  
You know I'm fading still___

Why don't you fix me?_  
Don't you leave me here__  
Why don't you fix me?__  
I'm fading faster and faster___

Why don't you fix me?_  
Why don't you fix me?_

"I wasn't aware that you still like to play piano," came a quiet voice behind me. I wanted to scream at him, ask him where he went. Why he let me.

But all that came out was, "Not much has changed." I took my fingers off of the keys, and stood up. I began to make my way up the stairs to my room, planning to ignore his existence, but his pleading voice stopped me. "Wait!"

I didn't turn around. "What?" I fought to keep my voice steady. Hakkai's face looked into mine, pains etched into it, making me want to hug and comfort him, like when we were younger. It made me sad to see him like that, even now.

"What happened to you?" So many things to say. Instead of holding my feelings back, I let them show.

"You left. I was alone. I waited for you, but did you come back? Nooooooo…" I let out a bitter laugh. "Some things are just so important that you have to ignore your best friends." He looked at me in shock. It was my turn to be shocked when he pulled my into a tight hug. For a second I shoved, trying to get out of his arms. After a while I relaxed, and he put his chin on top of my head.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't realize…" I stayed quiet, knowing he had more to say. "I love you." Though he couldn't see it, I smiled into his shirt.

"Took you long enough. I love you too." I paused, and then added, "You're still no forgiven, though. You'll have to work for that." Probably not much, but still…

He let out a short laugh. "I know. It's good to have you back." I let him go, and stepped back. Then I pecked him on the lips. He looked like he was in shock.

"You too." Then I danced up the steps, laughing to whole while.


End file.
